My Dear Mogslopper,

Today in my Inbox, I received your protracted report. I have not had sufficient opportunity to thoroughly review it, but you seem to have met my expectations. Or at least your report has met expectations...your conduct as a Junior Tempter is still under Observation from Below. There is much here to work with; I veritably salivate at its contents. Especially enjoyable are points #43 ("Believes himself to be an avid reader"), #106 ("Fond of animals, maybe more so than humans), #111 ("Troubled upbringing referred to in conversation"), #317 ("Never accepted by fashionable crowd in school still sore-spot"), etc. Yes, quite satisfactory. I am pleased with myself for suggesting you compose this report. I will pour over its 11,244 itemized minutiae over the next fortnight or so and advise you accordingly. However, there is an extremely important detail that you have completely neglected to mention, as far as I can tell at first glance. This particular aspect of your patient is conspicuous in its absence. Simply put, Is he a Churchman? You have not answered the question about this man's Affiliation. Certainly, some other Infernal Source will be able to inform me accurately. Yet, I fear your omission spells the worst for our position. Be that as it may, I would rather you indicate as such directly instead of forcing me to consult other Powers of Darkness--they are so infuriatingly bureaucratic...but then, we rather prefer it that way Downhere. For now, your best course is to carry on tempting. If he is a Churchman as I now suppose, we continue to have a great many options open to our exploit, especially along those points I have already indicated in earlier posts. Bags of Bishops, Pails-full of Priests, Crates of Catholics, Mobs of Methodists, Vats of Vineyard-folk, Boxes of Baptists, Lakes of Lutherans--all incarcerated within various Levels here--can testify to the mortal difference between going to church and being enshrouded by Her. Affectionately, Your Uncle


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