3.17.2005

silver lining

At first I thought, maybe Bono would make a good choice for leader of the World Bank. Sure the tour might have to be put on hold or maybe just the number of shows trimmed up. But at least it shows people are starting to warm to the idea that maybe World Bank money isn't just for making more money for the World Bank. Yeah right. Paul f*&*ing Wolfowitz?!?!?!?!? Did we mean to tell Iran, China, Russia, North Korea, France, and all of our other Mortal Enemies in the Axis of Whoever Has Stuff We Want Or Can Be Pushed Around Because They Don't Have Nukes (yet) Or Don't Care Enough To Shoot Back that we were now thinking of getting a little more aggressive fiscally as well as militarily? However, my sources have told me that the President's former choice, never talked about outside of the White House until yesterday, would have been much, much, much worse. Instead of Paul f$#^ing Wolfowitz, we were going to be presented with the most feared soldier and strategist the world has ever known. That's right originally they were going to create--out of the DNA of Julius Caesar, Hannibal of Carthage, Attilla the Hun, Vlad the Impaler, and the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man--SERPENTOR!!! Then were would we be?!?! Of course the intent would be to keep him as World Bank puppet-king firmly controlled by Washington. But would that have happened? NO! A man/thing like Serpentor couldn't be caged up...the greatest military geniuses all roled into one body? Are you kidding? He would have ruled over the entire clientelle of the World Bank with an Iron Fist! Tunisia would tremble! Malta would be mortified! And Germany would momentarily stop laughing at America to honor Serpentor with the world's largest all-night rave where everyone had to come as their favorite COBRA villain! [I was thinking of going as Destro, but I probably would have had trouble fitting all my hair inside the silver mask.] Thankfully, we don't have to worry about that.

4 Comments:

Blogger John McCollum said...

Spend more time on this and less on Screwtape, and you'll have 100,000 readers. Really.

But I love Screwtape, too.

3/17/2005 12:12 PM  
Blogger e said...

Who says I want readers?

And I was talking to Uncle the other day and he said that he feels quite affectionate regarding you too. I don't like it when he gets that look in his eye when speaking of my friends....

3/17/2005 11:28 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

well c'mon now erik.. it makes perfect sense to send in #2 at the pentagon to get that iraqi oil turned into cash and consumption!

i think snake-eyes would even approve.

after he's done giving scarlet the business, of course.

oh, and if any of you ohio kids are reading this and voted for bush, allow me to just say thanks.

pricks.

-arrr

3/18/2005 11:17 PM  
Blogger Joshua said...

bush already appointed serpentor to one of the lower courts. you can only have so many genetically synthesized super-soldiers in one administration.

3/19/2005 1:36 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home