it must have been love, but it's over now

i'm glad john posted a link to this account of an affair. as good as that blog was, this particular comment was even better. though it doesn't absolve the adulterer/ess of their crimes-against-family, we should keep in mind that affairs are as much a byproduct of an individualist, consumer-driven society as is massive credit card debt, teenage pregnancy, suicide, etc. what to do? i think not having cable TV is a good start. but that's just my opinion.


Anonymous Anonymous said...


q and i spent some time discussing this guys work. i was a bit more forgiving of the guy than she was. what concerned me was how each phase that built up to the act was relatively neutral when taken by themselves.

what i mean is that any married person can be in a closed conference room with a colleague without being in trouble. but, the elements surrounding their building relationship and a prior history was an affair waiting to happen

to me, the summation of all the points leading to the affair caused more trouble than when he was tempted to cheat. when he chose to cheat, he just could have said no, come clean and go into honesty mode. there would be damage but the mess would have been an opportunity to build trust rather than deception or covering his rear.

please understand i do not support this guy's decisions and the consequences are quite painful. unlike some branches of scinece, life does not happen in a vacuum.


2/14/2006 9:41 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


i did not follow your thread, so this time i will.

to borrow from neil postman, i believe that we are amusing ourselves to death.

specifically, not a physical death, but a relational one. we are inundated with gadgets and goodies that compete for our non-renewable resources (time).

to nark on myself, i love the stock market. i could spend 3 times as much effort into developing my craft to provide for my wife and eventual children. however, would the investment in time for money be as valuabe as the extra 2-3 hours investing in my progeny/wife?

stated again, i can be a huge success at the market but a collosal failure at life. the tradeoff is something which needs daily evaluation.

i try to invest in people who will love me when i am old. the market for all its worth is not going to do that.

the best question i have ever heard came from an 85 year old man at good shephard nursing home when i volunteered with hospice. he asked "when you are in my shoes, will you have wished that you spend the extra two hours reading about the stocks, or would you rather have been involved with other people?"

this rhetorical question comes to mind when greed, hope and fear over "problem x" weighs me down


2/14/2006 9:57 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Everyone spends too much time trying to figure out life, love and their own feelings...you want to know the secret? That there is no secret...
Life is life when it's kept simple.
Love is love period. The question of straying etc never come to thought ... and when your true soul mate enters the room when they're 80yo they still knock your socks off!
Heck, even a Morning Dove knows that.

6/02/2006 10:48 PM  

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