As to Lewis and his talk of the 'spoiled dog'. He is talking about Storge (affection) and places it in context of the home. A mother (for instance) who really is (should be) aiming for her children to walk independent lives, laboring to make herself unnecessary, will purchase a dog - something that always has needs that can be met by the mother - in an attempt to persuade herself that she is needed. She has the view that her laboriousness speaks of her love - that she must always be doing things to show her necessity...making fresh bread daily when there is plenty already, or bleaching shirts when nobody likes the feel of the bleech and would rather she didnt. I hope this places it in context. With this said, and remembering we are talking about affection, I believe in part that I have been guilty of working with youth in the past because I have always found they need me in some way. I liked serving them - and yet in hindsite sew how I also needed them to have my sense of worth and necessity filled. I am still waking up from this revelation - so quiz me on it if you feel the need. Erik, you talk of need in the snse that you like to feel that somebody needs you. If you'll allow me to extrapolate somewhat, is this the same feeling church members have that inevitably, when unfulfilled because of the lack of need in the mega church, gives one a lower sense of value. You feel unnecessary and therefore your desire is to be in a place where you not only feel needed but are needed becaus ethere is a demand for the gifts you possess. Small community England thrived on this in the days when the coal and Steal industry were a major source of income. Men rallied together in service - in the small community. Wives supported their husbands, baked together, took care of children, prepared the home. As much as the Charles Dickens in me wants to explode and describe an idealised socio-culture where men and women shared a lifestyle in addition to a bed - I too see my worth being sppoken to by a smaller community...perhaps that is where my desire for a smaller church is seeded. However - the distortion here that really bites at me is the realization that in church now - there is such a separation between the generations - seperate churches for seperate generations. The church in my view should bridge the gap. How can discipleship of the young occur if the elders cannot see the need in the children? How do we open for the divinely inspired adult to wallk up to a teen and his family to share a word he received while in worship? I hate the disunity of the generations. No wonder so many of us feel so alone - why we lack mentoring relationships whether we are single or married. God moves - he places people in our lives...and moving mountains instead of mole-hills is not a problem for him...but we should have learned our lesson by now. My passion is rekindled. Writing really does help one process. Your responses please!