5.22.2004

Deep Waters

A close friend confessed to me the other day that his life had not been quite as it would seem...quite how perhaps I have perceived. Do you know how liberating that is for a friendship!!?? The confession of a brother is perhaps the Christian discipline that I have understood least, felt most uncomfortable with, and yet been blessed hugely by. His confession has brought us infinitely closer, and I find myself loving him more than ever. I relate to the sinner in a way that I cannot relate to the righteous. I am afraid I would have detested the pharisees, and felt entirely intimidated by their self righteousness. Liberation comes like a wave upon the shores of my soul, lavishing my inner being with new found hope and life. I find that I am immediately set free to be open with my brother: a result of his openness and my newfound sense of reality. I think our inability to be real as people is quite sad, and for an unknown reason I find myself often projecting a false self onto the world around me. I am thankful for friends, and for the way they challenge me to be real ina world that rewards anything but. They challenge me to find ways of expressing love that are not centered on conceit or self-love. In short, I am discovering with each passing week the joy of finding life in unexpected places. I find that my inability to be real with everyone is associated with my fear of being alinated by work colleagues who hold different values; and yet I know that my lifestyle challenges them infinitesimally. I know no other way of evangelising at work (teaching) than by being radically who God has called me to be. I'm 24 and still think I am going to be told off by a big bad headteacher. It is time I realise that I am an adult and don't have to fear man any longer. Life in every breath (as the Last Samurai portrays so very well).

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