shove it, lady!

So, I'm not a big AM talk radio listener...call me crazy, but they're all right-winged mina birds mimicing everything the White House says. Yet somehow I hear Dr. Laura. And first I think, "Wow, this lady has some good things to say." But then it becomes clear that, despite her words of wisdom, everything takes the same tack: it's your fault, you lousy parent! She especially seems to single out people who let others watch their children. Like a mantra, all the loyal callers say "And I'm the parent of my children" before they ask her a question. By this statement, they seem to mean that (1) they are stay-at-home moms and (2) they stay at home a lot. Don't get me wrong, I think it's great that moms are staying home with their kids. B is definitely doing that. But there's so much more to it than that. You have to put your marriage first. You have to have date nights. You have to invest in community and have your kids be a part of that community. Dr. Laura seemed to say that every problem had at its root a parent who let their kids interact with other adults outside of their parents. What an individualist crock! Is this why my single friends complain that all their Christian friends that have children won't hang out anymore? Are christians enamored with Dr. Laura's home = castle thing and therefore encase themselves and their children in some sort of subcultural bubble? Thankfully, B and I have gone out and/or on a date every week since Greta made it home from the hospital. It helps me to see my wife as a woman first and a mother second and I think that helps all three of us. How do you raise kids in community? Jeff & A seem to do a great job....


Blogger John McCollum said...


It's tough, and takes constant effort. But I think that part of the challenge is involving your kids in the community whenever possible.

At our home group, we have our kids upstairs playing games while we're praying and talking, but they are welcome to come down and sit on our laps, or ask us for stuff -- they get to see us interact with other people (a learning experience for them), and they get to feel the benefit of having other adults who acknowledge and care for them.

Which comes downn to one of the hardest parts -- allowing other adults to have input into your child's life. But if you can make it happen, it's a huge benefit to them, and replaces what has been lost with the decline of small towns or at least small town mentalities.

One of the best things about having my kids at church and among other Christians is the security of knowing that they'll get yelled at if they get out of line and they'll be comforted if they fall down.

I dunno. We're still trying to figure it out, but it's worth the effort.

And by the way, I think of you as a mother first, and a man second.

6/29/2004 3:08 PM  

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