This is an interview I put in the newsletter that our family group from The School of leadership Training has been doing the last couple years. I was pretty pleased with how this turned out. So I now share it witch yoo: On Family ìWhoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for Me will save it.î (Luke 9:24) An Interview with Brenda Sutter How would you describe your family to someone who doesnít know you? Iíd basically say weíre a young couple who are seeking Christ and trying to raise our family as He would want. How would you describe what God wants, I mean, what principles or values would you say you stand on in raising your family? I think of studying His Word and prayer. Proverbs is filled with practical, godly wisdom that we need in todayís world for raising a family. Thereís no community closer than family. Have you been surprised by anything in raising family that you wouldnít have expected before having your own? When you have your own family, itís different than the family youíre born into. You kinda get to choose your own family. And with my choice Iím saying that these are the people I love most in the world. But then you find that family is sometimes the hardest to love. What I mean is that when youíre with friends, you think about how to be loving. You arenít with them all the time, so when you are, youíre conscious of being their friend. But when youíre home, you just let loose and youíre not as conscious and so youíre often not as loving. Yet these are the people Iíve chosen to love more than any other. Itís really hard. How do you balance family and friends? Iím definitely not as in touch with my friends, now that I have a family. I had to learn to adjust, you know? You can only be invested in so many people realistically, so it becomes important to find people whose lifestyles can complement my ability to give and receive. When you have a family, itís not always the same friends who can be this. I find I have time in the day to do things, but at night is the only time I have with my husband. Itís great to have friends like Shari whoís also available during the day. Has your relationship with God changed since you began raising your family? Itís definitely increased my understanding of His role as Father. Watching Rob and being a parentÖ I would give everything for my daughter, and that doesnít even compare to what God gives. I also guess I understand His discipline better. I realize how important it is for our daughter to be disciplined and all the ways it would negatively affect our family if she wasnít. It makes me think of Godís desire for us to lose our lives so that we can gain it. Are there any gifts or things youíve learned about yourself that have come out through marriage and parenting? I first think of all the bad things Iíve learnedÖ (laugh) I think I have gifts in hospitality that really have come out in benefiting Rob when heís working all day and can have a warm place to come home to. We were just talking about that a few days ago. Iíve learned what a joy it can be to be self-sacrificial. Itís tough when you want what you want, to have to live a life that is all about what the other people in your family need. Especially as a mother. But itís a real victory of joy to be able to say sometimes at the end of the day, ìI didnít do one thing for myself today and this was a great day!î íCause itís not really about me. When youíre married and in family, you have to share every responsibility. Thatís part of the one-ness thing. What I do affects not just me, but Rob and Hannah too. When I donít spend time in the Word and in prayer, that overflows into Rob and Hannah too. If Iím not pouring into Christ, weíre all affected. Is there any advice youíd give to newly weds or single people about preparing for family in retrospect? Thereís really nothing that can quite prepare you for it. The only thing I can say is that prayer is the best preparation. Pray about everything, strive to be a person of prayer, and be prepared to surrender all.