Roger, (I hate that these blogs are entered "upside down" and not in order...) Thanks for sharing where you are, brother. You are coming from a tough place it sounds, yet in the midst of it you're asking some great questions! Rock on for that! "Is the bubble of community real in the sense that it is in touch with the life of true saviorship?" What a great question!! If I hear you correctly, you're pretty discouraged at the moment. You've just come from an environment where it was "easy" to be a Christian and where you could openly talk about your own questions as well as be around older and younger Christians which gives your faith a pretty firm sense of groundedness. Now, you're the old guy. And it seems to me that this abrupt change bears some heightened responsibility on your heart, responsibility that when added to your context, sometimes makes you feel like you're alone. Brother, let me affirm and encourage you firstly by saying that you are not alone. In fact, I can't think of a time when you should more clearly know that God is right there with you, as well as a whole history of saints who have had to wrestle with what is real and what it looks like to really act on the truth of God in the face of soft and hard opposition. And there is also your community, those of us with whom God delighted to allow a time of dining and dabbling in each other's lives over the feast of these truths. I for one will attest to the confidence I have in calling you my brother, chosen by God and set apart for his glory along with a whole host of brothers and sisters that He is raising up together. This is the first identity I see in you and it's where I will understand every question, struggle, or doubt you carry to firmly rest. I hope that everyday, a little more, you can too. Let me also encourage and affirm your questions. I hear what you're asking and know that they can be tools for next steps that God is asking of you. But make sure that your questions are not posed just for us, to produce light conversation and a momentary fleeting of superficial interaction that's rooted in words and symbols instead of lives connected in the process of transformation. I will be praying for you this week. But I'm not going to pray that you'll be comforted in your own strength with answers that give you a false sense of control or with some experience of the Spirit that glosses over issues of change where God is calling you. I will pray for a real movement of your soul to latch onto God with a new found dependence and that in doing so, there will be fruit born as evidenced by opportunities to be a signpost for others and to hear someone tell YOU who God is in your life and not the other way around. You have the gift of asking questions that when delved into can dig you deeper into the God who is there. Lastly, let me encourage you with a quote that we threw up about twenty blogs ago from Larry Crabb. You mentioned that "the answer to salvation seems to be getting people to experience God - and then letting Christ do the rest." I'd love to hear what things you discover in chasing out that thought. In the mean time, consider this as part of the chase: "When we value an experience of the Spirit over the transformation by the Spirit, we run the considerable risk of experiencing something other than the true Spirit of God and never really changing... Authentic transformation reverses the direction of the soul's energy." God has loved you enough to place you right in the thick of it, man. He has not left you on the sidelines or kept you on the bench. I love you, brother, and hope this finds you well! Brad