when looking into the dark maw of death, other things seem so small and unimportant compared to simply living. I get so stressed out (I think the biblical term would be "worried," as in: "Do Not Worry") thinking about bills and future decisions, etc. I keep forgetting that even the hairs on my head (many of which got cut off yesterday, BTW) are numbered. yet there's this seeming paradox--some things definitely have the imprint of Another, other things seem to be without purpose or reason. case in point: my aunt kathy has an aneurysm in a central spot in her brain. tomorrow she finds out when she needs to get surgery. given how much she prays or her beliefs or whatever, you'd think she'd just be immediately fixed whenever we pray. "the prayer of the righteous man is powerful and effective" is the verse that comes to mind. we thought the same thing for my aunt joan, who had a lung disease caused by chemicals sprayed on plants. she did live past her originally proposed time. but she still went at the ripe young age of 62. she was still as young looking and acting as a 40 year old. it begs the question, "why her?" a question i suppose we're not meant to know. anyway, b left again today for a week. that makes the 3rd week this summer. i've only seen her for 7 days since she finished school. it was good to see her, to appreciate her talents and watch her have fun with others, to ride bikes and play with the cats and garden and even grocery shop. it's hard to have her gone again. it's important to appreciate life.