talk like a pirate!

I do nay understand what be goin' on here. Here's a little game for yas. What random pirate phrase can you come up with?


Blogger John McCollum said...


Here's my latest blog post, entirely in 'Pirate.' Yargh.


I be proud o' me wee church. Arrr, pride t'ain't really th' starboard word, although Paul does give us permission t' boast in th' Lord. Perhaps 'tis best t' say that I be grateful fer me church, an' proud o' God's work among me squadron o' shipmates.

As Jim Wallis points ou', politicians from both parties go t' Washington an' t' th' state capitals, moistened fingers aloft, waitin' t' be seein' which direction th' political wind be blowin'. We'll nerechange th' world by replacin' one wind-testin' politician wi' another. We can only change th' world by changin' th' wind.

As we all saw in 2004, 'values voters' play a huge role in electin' presidents an' senators an' representatives. Kerry got into th' game a wee late, but e'en he spent a good deal o' time talkin' about his faith. As we approach another election season, we as Christians can change th' wind. I be seein' 't happen in Columbus, in me church, on me street.

Fer far too long, we as evangelical Christians be havin' restricted our definition o' 'Christian values' t' abortion an' gay marriage, an' be havin' completely missed th' overall themes o' justice that run from Genesis t' Revelation. Somehow, we've come up wi' a Jesus who be preoccupied wi' homosexuality an' abortion, but couldna care less about th' poor. We feel comfortable worshippin' a pro-rich, anti-child, pro-war Jesus.

Dasn't get me wrong. I be nay advocatin' a brand o' Christianity that be a shill fer either party, or a designated defender o' any nation. I be lookin' t' be seein' -- an' I think I be beginnin' t' be seein' 't here -- a type o' faith that stands wi' Jesus above th' petty political fray as a conscience t' all parties an' all nations.

Wi' that in mind, I'd like t' offer me kudos (which, wi' me $1.50 will buy a cup o' grog) t' th' followin' squadrons:

Th' Invisible Children team
T' Doug, Lyndi, all th' rest o' ye who worked so hard t' make th' Invisible Children movie happen, good on ye. Ye're helpin' t' change th' wind by proclaimin' loudly t' our community that Jesus cares about all swabbies includin' th' most vulnerable an' least strategically important t' America. Ye're helpin' us shout ou' t' anyone wi' ears t' hear that as Christians, we will work t' hold our leaders accountable fer policies that harm, or e'en ignore th' world's poor an' oppressed, but we will nay wait fer the'r permission t' act on th' world's behalf.

InterVarsity OSU
T' Ram, an' all o' th' students at IV who be bringin' th' issue o' crewmate traffickin' t' th' forefore on th' Ohio State campus, keep 't up. Ever' conversation ye start, ever' eyebrow ye raise helps t' proclaim Jesus as kin' o'er injustice. Maybe when our leaders be seein' that 'values voters' also care about 10 voyage olds gettin' raped ever' night in Thailand, they'll start carin' about 't too. An' maybe when college students be seein' Christians as passionate advocates fer victims o' th' sex trade, they'll start listenin' t' other messages about th' kingdom.

Bryden Place workers
T' Shaun, Kevin, Jeremy, Carolee, Daniel an' all o' th' swabbies takin' leadership in our church's efforts among th' homeless an' hopeless at Bryden Place, congratulations! Ye're ministerin' t' Jesus an' ye're proclaimin' th' kingdom t' a squadron o' swabbies who rarely get th' chance t' enjoy th' goodness o' God's love. Th' chords ye play, th' tiles ye paint, th' bulletin boards ye hang -- they's all part o' a beautiful tapestry, God's masterpiece. This t'ain't goin' t' be an easy, quick or particularly glamorous pursuit, but 'tis 'ere we'll find Jesus, an' 'tis 'ere I want me church an' me family t' be.

Asia's Hope supporters
T' all o' th' sponsors, donors, prayer supporters an' advocates o' Asia's Hope, I thank God ever' time I think o' ye. Yer generosity t' th' invisible children o' Southeast Asia has moved me t' tears on more occasions than I can count. Wi' ever' piece o' eight ye send, ever' prayer ye whisper, ever' moment ye spend tellin' th' story o' th' lost children o' Cambodia an' Thailand be o' immeasurable value. Yer words an' works be a shinin' testimony t' th' goodness o' a lovin' Heavenly Father who has gone t' unthinkable lengths t' brin' all o' us orphans into his family. Praise God fer ye.

In summary, I'd like t' thank God fer all o' ye at Central Vineyard an' pray th' strongest blessin' possible o'er yer efforts t' change th' wind by changin' th' face o' Christianity in central Columbus. Thar be many other squadrons o' swabbies at CV I could list -- so many o' ye be workin' on a daily basis t' find yer true worth, e'en if 't means losin' valuable time, treasure an' reputation.

I canna wait t' brin' Xiu Dan aft from China t' be a part o' this wonderful, lovin' community.

Grace an' Peace.

4/12/2006 4:21 PM  

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